What is the best marriage advice that you have been given? The best advice I received was from a good friend who told me to argue well & fair; not with anger or defensiveness. Through the years it has taught us to really hear what each other is saying and see things from their perspective. I am a better person for it, and I’m lucky that my husband Josh feels the same way.
We fell in love quickly, and easily. We became friends in the spring and by summer we were inseparable. Getting married was the easiest, most natural decision we’d ever made. We had already faced one big crisis when my dad passed away, and together we made each other better. We’ve been together eleven years, and with the little bits of insight I’ve gained I can safely say that my big piece of advice is this: Marry the one who makes you stronger. The one who gives you the energy and support to meet the challenges in life and wants to be on your team, right there by your side. That can look like many different things, but to me it’s the way he supports my business and the hours I spend invested in it. The way he speaks to me when we disagree – with purpose and consideration, never to overpower or force his point of view. I think back to last Spring when we spent one long week discussing which school to enroll our oldest into for first grade. We would put the kids to bed, sit down with each other, and talk back and forth for an hour or two until it was time to take a break for sleep. This went on for days, but it didn’t affect our day to day life with the kids, and we eventually found a compromise.
So, while your wedding is a magical and beautiful new beginning, it is never too early to start working on the foundation of a great relationship. I know Josh and I don’t have all the answers while we blunder through work and parenting together, but being mindful and intentional in the way we treat each other is what matters most to us and I know that will see us through. What do you make priority?
